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Fears of becoming dependent on another person is a real driving force for some people.
As you say, you prefer paying your bills with cash or debit card rather than owing anyone anything.
In fact, it’s one of the major reasons why more people live single than at any time in the last 50 to 100 years.
Yet, like all of us, you want intimacy and permanency in a relationship.
In other words, with that as a role model of how men and women get along, there would be real reasons for fearing relationships.
Sometimes people have their own reasons for avoiding intimacy regardless of what happened in their childhood.
Intimacy is one of the most important of those with having family, friends and acquaintances close behind. There are any number of reasons why you may fear commitment. However, how your parents got along with one another while they were married and after their divorce has a lot to do with how you feel.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in control of you life and destiny.However, if the thought of someone playing a role in your life’s decision making processes terrifies you, then you have a problem.